All you need is love, ba ba ba ba ba.........

Helloo my friendy friends :)

I know I havent posted in a while. Suppose i was waiting for the news to build up, and you guys seemed to be having alot more interestingness than me anyway.

Well, Since i last posted I have been cave exploring (not for the claustrophobic by the way, they dont tell you THAT on the website.) which was awesome in many ways. Similar in a way to diving cos you get to see whats under the surface and it gives a certain perspective.Our guide was this afrikaaner who kept cracking these lame jokes that we were sometimes wondering whether to laugh at or not. but anyway, it took about 3 hours in total to finigh the entire exploration. Was super fun :) definately wanna do that again.

Things with work seem to finally be getting into a rhythm. Haven't been kakked out in a week so that and counting :) The wife is actually talking to me now and the kid now wants me around, if only cos i am like a permanent play mate :P but hey, im getting paid alot to be a play mate. The visit from my mom helped alot too. I had gotten to the point where i had forgotten who i was and why I came here. Forgotten to be proud of myself for the things ive done, even if they weret all that amazing to others.

Downer came when Rodney seemed to finally click that we were over based on a facebook status of mine he read. He went crazy and sort of angry at me for a while, but truthfully,i had no emotional energy to spare him and my mother waqs visiting for one precious weekend, so i just told him he would have to talk to me once the weekend was over and he had calmed down. I was upset cos i thought i had made it clear before, but obviously, not clear enough. In any case, i literally felt i was so far ahead on being over this whole thing, i didnt let it get to me, i just enjoy the few moments i had with my mom. was very sad to see her go, made me realise that so much of this would be easier if i just had my family and friends around me. most of the reason i struggle so much, is cos i dont have friends to back me up like always :P but thats life and i must grow up and face it. Mom did leave me with something though, whch was my confidence in myself, which i had lost aong the way. I now see i have to keep myself together and not come unravelled, which is what was happening.

And then on another note, i am a little biut of a whore but i dont really care right now :) im sure ive told you all a little bit about this guy who takes me out every sunday :) well anyway, things is, ya, he is cute and sweet and we get along and older and basically takes me anywhere i want and also drives really far out to see me every weekend :) 90km to be exact. and then back. and he has clearly told me he likes me. alot. but is willing to just have fun as well. so, ja. i ma kinda being won over a little.

so yesterday he takes me out and we just go around doing whatever really. went to church with me, regardless of not having been to church in a decade. went to breakfast. now girls, u should know that since the first day we went out i have known he was gonna kiss me. i just knew. finally yesterday he did. and i have to say i woke up with a smile on my face this morning :) :) :) so i know ive kinda just broke up with rodney, but to be truthful, i have been over him for alot longer. i am not saying im ready for another relationship or anything, but i will say its nice to be kissed, paid attention to and liked :)

so anyway, thats me for now. hope you guys are rocking your shows too :P

llove,
Jaguette.