SOOOOO - i need some advice here my Llama Llady Friends...
I've been thinking... about Darren... not sure if everyone knows who he is, so quick fill in - he's become a really good friend of mine, and is Ryan's best friend, we run youth together and are very quickly becoming very close friends. he's studying electrical&computer engineering at Stellenbosch and is only 21.
now a little while ago, about Dec, i thought i liked him... but i convince myself that it was just coz we were close friends and that i was just getting confused... But now I'm realising that he is pretty much everything i would want in a guy...
not the airy-fairy stuff like he laughs at my stupid jokes and he can be sweet and charming... bla bla bla...
but i could, baring some apocalyptic event, see myself with him in 15 years, with a family... and that scares the bejeebers out of me... but at the same time makes me realise how deeply i feel for him... there are tons of things that I'm not going to gush about here, lol, that i genuinely love about him... BUT - the catch is, 1st of all in Darren's world i am just a friend, this I'm 95% sure of (the cons of knowing a guy so well). 2nd is that at the moment there is NO chemistry between us... but at the same time, i think its because I've always put that barrier between us, (we all know i can have a personal bubble made of Kevlar when i want to) and i think i have done that because I'm scared of the potential of chemistry...
now, i don't know if I'm making sense... sorry if I'm not :s
but i need to know if I've watched too many rom-coms, read too many romance books or listened to too many fairy stories... but i think that its slowly sinking in for me that Darren might just be the guy...
I've been praying about it and it's not going away, and now I've asked God that if this is the case, firstly - is He VERY sure... and 2ndly He has to put the spark into our friendship... coz i could marry my best friend & have a family with him, but I'm not sure i could be in a Relationship just based on that...
i feel crazy at the moment, so need to point that out...
but for a weird, very weird comparison, i have deep sense of knowing that this is real, like i did with being depressed... it Vanessa to convince me that i knew it, but i really did know it...
aaaaaaaaaaaaah - i think i sound crazy... but you girls know what that love is like... seeing yourself with someone in 15 years time... but i think i also might be crazy... :(
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ps - this had nothing to do with my fb status... lol
ReplyDeletei'm over that atm.. lol.
wow. deep. all i can say on this matter is that, "when you know, you just know". Wez was my youth leader, and we were friends for about a year and a half and then WHAM! it hit me like a freight train, this overwelming sense that this is it!!! I suddenly started realising that he is awesome, and that i want to be with him all the time, and marry him and make babies! But then again...we had that spark thing going already...sorta...
ReplyDeleteHmmm...this spark business is troublesome indeed...I think praying about it is an awesome start! Allowing yourself to feel these crazy things and take a chance on this opportunity is another great plan.
Basically, I think you have the answers to your questions already, and you already believe the truth you feel inside. :)
wow. deep. some big steps here. Go for it! Nothing will come from it, if nothing is done. But then again...I don't know you as well as the others do...so my comments may be invalid here...
Believe, Trust, Love.
P.s. If it helps you to know....I made the first move...
wow, this is a tricky one. But my advise is simple, if you dont take the chance you'll neva know. Like Candi said sometimes the chemistry comes a little bit later. And there's nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteYou are a catch lady and you should own that!
P.s.#2 I made the first move too :)
hahahahaha - i love that both of you made the first move :p
ReplyDeletethank you Lladies!!
i did three ;-)
ReplyDeletenothing wrong with the first move if it doesn't send them running. but i guess those that ran away were never going to be mr right hey?
;-)